feeling excited

Wahhh! It's really gonna happen. I'm going to Florida with my family and the bf in the first week of July. Yay!!! At least I have the plane tickets and the lodging booked. We'll worry about the park tickets later or perhaps when we get there. But it's quite awesome. >.< AAAnd I was also able to land work...for at least a month. =) At least I'll have some income coming in. Even if it might be for only a month. I miss work terribly. The people there were so nice. I miss my friends. Also, I have been asked to be in a cotillion for my friend's debut. We haven't learned very much of the dance yet but I am excited. I'm also dancing hawaiian for her debut as well. Haha, I finally have a good way to get back into shape. Alright, exercise! The weather has been nice and hot these past few days. I can't wait for my birthday!!! XD I wanna have a celebration when I get back from Florida. Drinking/sleepover party anyone?

Out of work with nothing to do but VEG

Geez. I've only been out of work for little more than a week and I am already missing it. I only worked Wednesdays and Fridays but I actually looked forward to working than I did going to school. =S [weird...] Now, I am currently unemployed. I hate that word. It means I am currently looking for work and still haven't found any. You know what that means? I'm SOL as one of my profs said once. SHIT OUTTA LUCK. But perhaps I am being a tad pessimistic. Perhaps. I did go online and look at some job postings and apply for those. I just didn't realize how boring my own house could be. Sure, I could watch T.V. all day, raid my fridge, go on the computer and watch my dramas or read my mangas. But that can only get me so far. I could even clean...which I probably will end up doing. So now I am sitting at my computer, eating room temperature Lychee Pudding and bitching about how I don't have a job. For Goodness' Sake! Somebody save me from the boredom.

Good times...[*sigh]

Okay, so I am waaay overdue for a new entry. I should have blogged straight after the visit to Hamilton. However, I am lazy. [Bite me =P] So visiting Hamilton really did rock! Marco and I met up with Justin at Chapters and then we were off to Hamilton! The funniest thing though was Justin's mom getting into a fight with a random stranger who could've gotten us killed. Seriously Justin, your mom is the greatest >.< [Edit: What the F? Somehow what I had typed here before suddenly disappeared, so now I have to type it all over again. >=(] The first thing we did when we got to Hamilton was unload the car. Then we explored Justin's house and made fun of his extremely nerdy room. Haha, Justin =P Then I took out my camera and started snapping pictures of Justin's humble abode. We soon got hungry and since none of us were willing to step into the blistering heat, we opted to make our own food. That was freaking awesome! We made the best pasta, home-made garlic bread and grilled shrimp...made of love and friendship. Since we still had time to kill before Justin's class, we decided to Youtube. WHO DOESN'T YOUTUBE WHEN THEY ARE BORED? Pretty soon we had to drop Justin off at his class, and what did Marco and I do? We went on an expedition of Mac only to find ourselves in the library, signed up for a guest user account and watching asian dramas and big bang videos. >.< [kyaaaaa I love Big Bang! <3] ONLY US, MARCO. Only us. And then walking back from Mac to Justin's house was really nice. It was a beautiful, clear night and there were so many stars out. I still remember our talk about how the sun is middle-aged right now and still has another 5 billion years until it expands into a Red Giant. But before that we had a bubbletea run [of course] and we were like the only people in the store. We did so many things in Hamilton and yet I found myself wishing I was back at that house bugging/annoying Justin. But I remembered that I had voice lessons and that I needed to go because I have an exam coming up. I will go back and visit again, though. Maybe we'll kidnap Aaron from Calgary and drag him along with us too. Yes! The original fourth-spare crew reunited under one roof again! Reunited and it feels so good... [*sigh] If only... I miss you guys.

I feel better today

This is pretty funny. I blog more often than I check Facebook. That is new. It's been a while since I checked any site regularly. I feel better today. I went out and rented movies. One was 27 Dresses and the other was P.S. I Love You. The latter of the two moved me to tears. Within the first 5 minutes of the movie I cried from the lines that Gerard Butler spoke with such passion. [*sigh] It was a scene where he and Hilary Swank's character were fighting and she was telling him to leave if he wanted to. He asked her to tell him what it is that she wanted. He said, "I know what I want, because I have it right here in my hands...I wake up everyday wanting to do the same thing which is to see your face.". Almost instantaneously there were tears in my eyes. His words pulled at my heart. I actually forgot to breathe at that part. The rest of the movie was pretty much the same. His words were full of warmth, compassion and most of all love. The whole movie was really moving, especially towards the end. I cried pretty hard there. What a movie! I think I might actually cry if I watched it again. It was so beautiful.

???

I'm not sure how to describe how I feel. I just I know I am uncertain about some things.
I've never been able to shake this feeling. I've only been able to suspend it, if that makes any sense. The only thing I know is that: I have to stay positive. I have to believe in myself. And I have to continue believing in him. I can't stop when I am so close to happiness.

distractions...

I suddenly had a flash of what my summer will mostly consist of. I will be spending endless hours watching asian dramas. [*gasp] This is it. [*gulp] I have become a drama freak. It's true. It's my drug and I have become a fiend for it. But, why asian dramas you ask? I enjoy watching dramas in a different language because it's fun to learn new languages. Okay, so I might also be reading a lot this summer too. [Sue me =P] Well, I honestly don't really care for porn, like some of my friends seem to be fond of. To put it simply, it's an escape. For a few hours, I forget about the insecurities I have about myself. I don't have to think about the stress I am or will be under soon enough. I don't have to concentrate on my life. I can watch someone else worry about their insecurities. I can empathize with their feelings about love, about life. I can relate to similar situations in my life. But most of all, [and this part is kind of sad] I can live vicariously through the characters on the screen/in the pages. I am angry when bad things happen to good characters. I am excited when characters are infatuated. And I get goosebumps when characters fall in love and portray it so well my heart hurts from the envy. There's something about good-looking people and the things they go through in their lives that just ensnares me and holds me captive, as if I have no choice. Obviously, I'm aware that I do. I just choose to ignore it. =) That aside, as soon as it ends, I'm reminded that it was just a momentary distraction to enable me to procrastinate from coming back to reality. Not that reality is bad at all. Just sometimes, I would prefer to immerse myself in fictional stories about characters who bear similarities to me, but have experienced worse. This way, when I do have to come back from my Neverland, I am also reminded that things could be much worse. Also, I come to be grateful that I am not in those situations which some of the characters I read about get into. That's the great thing about fictional stories. I get to live through these characters without having to experience what they do. But hey, I'm not sadistic. I leave that to Justin. =P [*sigh] Yup, I'm addicted. But it's a hell of a lot better than drugs. Trust me. Although, I do confess to another addiction. It's just, this other addiction is one I'm going to be stuck with for a while. I don't need drug-induced hallucinations when I have him. He's all I need.

Hey, look over there,
It's a distraction!
Just kidding! =P

productive day

Today was pretty productive considering I didn't do much. I was woken up by my sister to go to a mass which was being held at St. Marcellinus for my deceased Aunt. So we went but we were late thanks to my sister. I swear she is the one that woke me up too. Then I went home and slept again. Then I woke up at 11:00 am and fed C.C. - I have to do it or else the poor thing would starve. Then I mostly did laundry the whole day. I also cleaned my room and the bathroom. Yeah, I know I didn't do much but I'm pretty tired. Yay, work tomorrow. Later days.