New change

I felt it was time for a change of the layout. I will add my links list at another time. I think it's time for a change. Lately, I have not made the wisest decisions. I messed up in school, my biggest priority. I couldn't concentrate properly in the second semester. I was not stable during that semester. I really don't like some of the choices I've made within the last few months. I was never this lazy. I really let myself down this year. Sure, I could complain that the courses were pretty tough this semester. But, I could also have put in more effort this semester as well. I want to put it right again. I want to get back on track. I cannot afford to fail again. I miss my friends. It seems like everyone is so busy except for me. I have too much time on my hands. Too much time to reflect on what I've done and wallow in self pity. But it's time for that to stop. I cannot dwell on the past, no matter how stupid/foolish my actions were. I can only change the future ahead of me. I need to find myself some work for the summer. I also need to study hard for my voice exam. That is the one place I can excel the most. I need to get my act together again. I will do it. I know I can. I owe myself that much. I know it sounds weird but I feel like I'm finding myself again. It feels like I'm starting over and I actually feel optimistic about it. I really hope this works out for the best.

my newest obsession...

I found out about this book recently. It is called Twilight and I found out today that it was published in 2005 and that the author already published the sequel as well. Anyway, I am just anxiously awaiting the launch of the feature film. Ahhhh [squeals*] I cannot wait!!! The guy who played Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter, Robert Pattinson will be playing Edward Cullen in Twilight the movie. [drools*] He actually looks like the person I imagined Edward to be. I expected Bella to be a little more plain looking but Kristen portrays her a lot better I think. For those of you who have not read Twilight, it is a tale of two star-crossed lovers. A modern day Romeo and Juliet of sorts. A human and a vampire fall in love but it is dependent upon Edward to control his lust for her blood. Only her blood smells so incredibly delicious to him. He equates it to the aroma of a fine wine. He could kill her in any moment, but he struggles to keep control of himself. Meanwhile, Bella would rather not leave him alone. It's a thrilling romance. I borrowed the book from a new friend I made, Susan. I plan to read the sequel soon...after my last exam. I swear I finished Twilight in 2 days. That is, I read a little over 500 pages in 2 days. I couldn't believe it myself. Strangely enough, I didn't find any part the least bit boring. You know how sometimes, when you read a book, there is a part in the plot where it kind of slows down and the main character does not experience anything too eventful? Not in this book. Even when I thought nothing interesting would happen at some parts, I was pleasantly surprised. It is a great read and I would recommend it to anyone who loves a little bit of the supernatural in their stories. I am a big fan of fiction myself. And now, I am a huge fan of this novel and am excited for the saga to continue. I'm sooo impatient. I've been watching little behind the scenes clips of the movie. I'm quite impressed with the cast they got to play the parts. They even have the guy from Never Back Down, Cam Gigandet who is playing the villain, James. I can't even concentrate on the exam I have coming up because of this book. [sigh*] Edward is just so dreamy. I know its weird to love fictional characters. But he just does what he does so well. But I must be off to bed now. Goodnight =)

I like it rough

I like doing things the hard way. I don't know why, but all my life it has always been like that. Maybe I have something to prove? I feel like such a dumbass. I f*ked up my last assignment for STATS and then I neglected to hand in my last set of labs for ACCOUNTING. Shit. Now I have to work my ass off to get a decent grade in these classes. Okay, I exaggerate a little, but come on! I should have been working hard from the beginning. I had more time than I say I did. It's just that I chose to go clubbing and partying rather than doing the work I should have been doing. Resulting in last minute scrambling to finish stuff up. That means: lost sleep, lack of food and thus lack of ability to concentrate. Now I feel screwed for school.

I FELL OFF THE BUS.

It's time to get back on.

In another sense, I like to be rough...physically. It doesn't make any sense because I'm a nice girl. At least that is the impression I give off to people when I meet them. Do I look like I could stand my ground in a fight? Surely, I would lose, no? But, tell me why the thought of being wrestled to the ground excites me? I don't know. There is something exhilirating about being pinned to the floor where resistance is just futile, so you have no choice but to give in. No choice but to succumb to someone's will...especially if it's someone you love. It's great fun. Haha, but don't get me wrong. I'm not looking to be raped. Even though it sounds like I would enjoy it, believe me, I WOULDN'T. I only enjoy rough play when its with someone I love, naturally.

I saw Drillbit Taylor last night with Jay-R and I developed a crush on the bully. Oh, I was becoming so flustered during the movie. The bully excited me. Especially when he took off his sweater and fighting music came on. *SIGH*...[drools] But, I didn't mean to make you feel like you have to have bulging muscles to get my attention. You already have it. I just get excited about fighting. Like I said before, I like it rough. I will admit that I enjoy the wrestling matches we have a bit too much. Even when it doesn't amount to anything more than that. *SIGH* I am a funny girl. Silly girl, nice girls don't play rough. So...does that make me a bad girl?

OKAY. I'm stopping here. Try to ignore the last paragraph. I think I just need to jump again. LOL

Later, gators

drowning... and scheming >=)

Well ladies and gents, it's that time again. Yep, that's right. It's CRUNCH time for the university/college students. Or as I like to call it, it's the time to

JUMP ON THE BIG ASS WAGON OF EDUCATION AND HOPE TO GOD YOU DON'T FALL OFF.

I swear I feel like I'm submerged under water and some prick is holding my head down in the water. I'm struggling to get back up and I'm gasping for air but it's not quite enough to sustain my life. I just end up swallowing more water. Now, I'm at the point where I'm losing the energy to fight and slowly...losing...consciousness. BUT that's just me. Don't worry. I'm not ready to give up just yet. I'm gonna give it my best.

In other news, I've come up with a little plan. You might call me crazy...possibly, but it's way more fun to be crazy than it is to be "normal". Anyways, I'm proud of myself for thinking of it. I'm 110% sure, it will be a success. In a way, I hope this will show off a more mature side of me. I certainly feel like I have grown from it. Hahaha, I just can't help but laugh because I know whoever is reading this is confused as hell right now. Well...too bad. I won't tell. =P

It's business time...you know why? Because...I'm wearing my business socks...Oh baby!
It's business, it's business time!
(btw, those ^ are lyrics from the song Business Time by Flight of the Concords)

But, it really is time to get down to business. It's time to start my article analysis. Yay!

take a bow

These are the lyrics for Rihanna's new song Take a bow. I'm in love with this song.

How about a round of applause

A standing ovation

You look so dumb right now

Standing outside my house

Trying to apologize

You're so ugly when you cry

Please, just cut it out

[Chorus]

Don't tell me you're sorry cuz you're not

Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show

You really had me going

But now it's time to go

Curtain's finally closing

That was quite a show

Very entertaining

But it's over now

Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone

You better hurry up before the sprinklers come on

Talkin' about, girl, I love you, you're the one

This just looks like the re-run

Please, what else is on

[Chorus]

And don't tell me you're sorry cuz you're not

Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show

You really had me going

But now it's time to go

Curtain's finally closing

That was quite a show

Very entertaining

But it's over now

Go on and take a bow

And the award for the best liar goes to you

For making me believe that you could be

Faithful to me

Let's hear your speech oh

How about a round of applause

A standing ovation

[Chorus]

But you put on quite a show

You really had me going

But now it's time to go

Curtain's finally closing

That was quite a show

Very entertaining

But it's over now

Go on and take a bow

But it’s over now

a blog for him...

I don't expect you to read this. But on the off chance that you do, I will not mention names. I had a lot of fun today. Rough housing in the basement, playing Super Smash Bros Brawl and just chilling on the couch, was quite enjoyable for me. I really felt terrible about last night. I don't know what made me mention it to you. I just know that you prefer I tell you what's bothering me rather than you digging it out of me. It really hurt though, getting off the phone. I even cried about it this morning. But when you called me back and told me you still wanted to come, I was really happy. It surprised me when you didn't call her after she sent you that text. It also surprised me that you weren't wearing the bracelet that she got for your birthday. On the one hand, I was happy. I had been waiting for you to do something like that for a while. On the other hand, I felt really bad. I felt like I was being so childish for expecting you to do something like that. I assume you called or texted her either when you got home or when you got to your car.

I'm really vulnerable when it comes to you...I don't know if you realize that.

Despite my efforts to put up walls and try to protect myself, you're still able to break through them with ease. I really don't mean to make you feel like I don't see when you're trying. I know you're trying really hard. I was blinded by jealousy. Like a child, crying for attention when she doesn't get what she wants, I picked fights to get your attention. In a way it was a sign which would let me know you still care about me.

It's been so long since you've written me a love letter. I'd love to receive one once again.

I really hope I never make you regret staying with me. I know I can be a handful. But I look at my parents. My dad doesn't always make my mom happy. In fact, he makes a lot of mistakes. But she forgives him for them and doesn't let them get in the way of their marriage. So, it's okay if you and I make mistakes. What matters is that we don't let those mistakes get in the way of our happiness.

Here's hoping that you still love me and want to be with me.

I love you baby.

blogging for the sake of...blogging

I had written more here before, but unfortunately my laptop overheated and shut down by itself before I had a chance to publish it. However, I am stubborn and I insist on making this entry.
It is almost 2:00 am and instead of sleeping like any normal person would be when they are tired, I have recreated my blog site...using the same name. I can't really help it. I liked the name before. It suited what I had written before. Thoughts and expressions. Okay, really I just wanted to show off my knowledge of simple theory (ok, so I only took Preliminary Rudiments but I still earned First Class Honours with Distinction). I am only remembering now how good it feels to have your thoughts written down, or should say typed out. Though I know this probably won't really be seen by anyone, I still find comfort in putting my feelings and thoughts down on this blog, almost like a journal of sorts. I decided to start blogging again because I felt inspired by a friend of a friend of mine. I came to find out more about her through her blogs. I especially enjoyed her stories about unrequited love. I felt that she wrote very well. Some of her blogs were dark at times but nevertheless, I felt compelled to read more. That kind of sounded stalker-ish. Anyway, I would like to improve my writing skills and so I thought I would practice by blogging. After all, blogging is like telling a story. You have to be aware that no matter what, you are writing for an audience, so you want to make sure you get the right points and ideas across. Otherwise, you will confuse and overwhelm your readers.

I did have an idea for posting another blog, but I am starting to feel exhausted. I suppose I will have much more to write about later.

So long, farewell, Aviderzein, Good night...morning.